Top 10 Things Never To Say To A Client

10. Were not breaking any laws using that photo in the layout...well, except maybe Megans Law.

9. My 'key takeaway' from this meeting is that you are a fucking prick and your wife is the pitcher. Sorry 'takeaways.'

8. If you just want to 'get your arms around it' try hitting the gym for 10 minutes and stop double fisting Filet-O-Fish sandwiches, fattie.

7. If you are so busy, why are you taking time to bitch?

6. If you don't understand why we are running in that publication, then you certainly won't understand why your husband is double downing on Rene from Accounting.

5. Are you sure we have enough feedback or should we ask fucking Ricky from IT?

4. I’m not saying I think the worst is going to happen and we’re going to lose everything and everyone’s going to get laid off, and the electric will get turned off and you will go under or anything.

3. I got your added value...in my pants.

2. It’s not 100% correct and accurate, but I think the consumer will get the gist of it.

1. Did you even go to college?